We ask students from Devon's rehabilitation centre Gilead Foundations to tell us their stories. This time it's the turn of WAYNE ROTHWELL.

Wayne Rothwell
Wayne Rothwell

I was brought up in a good family and had a pleasant childhood. I joined boxing lessons at the age of 11 and I did that for 10 years. I even got to box for England. I was happy with my job but I decided to take a redundancy because I was accepted by the Royal Marines. I was really excited about that and everything was going really well for me. It was at that point that I was diagnosed with bipolar manic depression. I lost my job and my passion. I was left feeling empty. I turned to drink and over the last 10 years that's why my life has become a bit of a mess. It's been a battle for that long trying to get my medication right because it's difficult to tell the difference between the symptoms of the illness and the alcohol. My drinking was because I was angry, resentful and I didn't have anyone to direct my anger towards. If someone had caused these problems in my life I probably would have been angry at them but there was no-one. I suppose I asked the question that everyone with an illness has: why me?

I've been a Christian for quite a few years now. I was brought up going to Catholic schools and I went to churches with my mum. When I was 18 we moved to another estate and started attending Cumbridge Baptist Church, where I've been going for about 14 years now. I had a support worker there but because of the way I felt I ended up drinking seven days a week extremely heavily. I was crying out for help. I was receiving prayer and my support worker was trying everything to find a rehab centre for me. We couldn't find anywhere that would take people with what's called "the dual diagnosis" which is an alcohol addiction with a mental problem. There are very few places in the country that deal with it. Also, because I've got a mental health problem, bipolar depression (bipolar means I have a lot of ups and downs), previous to Gilead I've always been placed in psychiatric wards where you don't have any counselling or occupation. The trouble with that is, it's just stopping you from drinking for so many months, and it's not really curing your problem.

It was actually through listening to a Christian radio station that a lady from my church heard about Gilead and that's how we got in touch with this place. It was the church that funded me coming here.

Through the counselling that we have and through prayer I feel like I'm working through my problems and I've actually got some sort of direction in my life. I'm working again full-time. I've worked on the farm, in the dairy, in the kitchens, and I've done a lot of maintenance and building work. There's plenty of occupation which is what I was lacking in past rehabs that I've tried. It's given me some goals and a bit of hope which was missing in my life.

I was a Christian before I went into Gilead but obviously my alcohol was making it hard for me to communicate with God. I've got closer to God since being here because, obviously, I'm not drinking now. It also helps that most of the people here are Christians - some who had faith before they came but some have actually come to faith here - which means there's always someone to share with. I've been here just over two months. I'm due to spend a year here in total and it will be assessed then to see if I'm ready to leave. I've decided I'm not going back to my home town. I want a fresh start and there'll be less temptation elsewhere.

My life now compared to what it used to be is 100 per cent better. I couldn't handle stuff and I was too scared to face it but since being here I've had to. My advice to someone else in the same situation is to basically just to get in touch and come down here with an open mind, not to be scared you're going to be brainwashed with God stuff - that's not forced, it comes through being here and seeing how God's changed other people's lives. And just come with an open mind and a willingness to try. CR

The opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those held by Cross Rhythms. Any expressed views were accurate at the time of publishing but may or may not reflect the views of the individuals concerned at a later date.