Baz Gascoyne on banning the word 'fine'

Baz Gascoyne

When I was younger I was a very angry young man. Nowadays there are only a few things that really get me angry: the injustice in the world; footballers complaining because they do not get paid enough and yet keep diving around like ballet dancers; politicians who tell us how we should live our lives and then do the opposite; and the way the church so often kills the life in people because of its religious behaviour.

What do I mean by this? Well whether it is a denominational church or a Christian fellowship it is so easy to become religious in what we do and why we do it. Anything which takes the life out of our relationship with Jesus is religion to me. Religion kills.

A friend of mine who is the head coach of a church for men in America called the Grove Church recently said the following "They looked good on the outside but on the inside they were dead." (Coach Mark Deobler)

Good on the outside but dead on the inside - this is what religion does and this is why I am on a mission to ban the word fine in church. I hate it when you ask someone "Hi how are you today" and they say "fine", when really they are not fine but probably so screwed up with anxieties, financial worries, depressed, hurting or even suicidal, but outwardly trying to look good when inside they are bad.

Why do people say fine? Well is it because they suspect that the person who is asking them how they are doing probably does not really want to know what is really going on in their lives but just doing the religious thing? Or is it because they feel that as a Christian they can't be anything but ok?

I was helping out on an Alpha course last year and we had a gentlemen named James (not his real name) attending. Every week I would say hello to him and ask him how he was doing and he would always reply "fine thanks Baz." Unfortunately, James committed suicide about six months ago. Obviously he was not fine but felt he could not share what was really going on in his life. Someone has said 'fine' stands for feelings inside never expressed. Why does this happen? Because we have created a culture in church where we don't really want mess but we want to look nice. Well let me tell you 'nice' does not change anything, but it does chain people up and stop them from being real, relevant and transparent and discovering what the fullness of life is that Jesus offers.

I hate religion. I hate the games people play in church and the way the church has stopped people from being themselves.

Philip Yancey says "There is nothing you can do to make God love you more and there is nothing you can do to make God love you less." What a powerful statement if we could get hold of it.

Why do I hate religion? Because it creates a driven-ness in Christians to perform, to try and win God's and others' approval rather than just being themselves.

All God is asking of me is to be the best Baz I can be: nothing more and nothing less. This is the same for you. Ask yourself, do you worry more about the outside than the inside; are you honest about what's going on; do you allow others to be honest; do you want raw and real or 'nice?' Have you become religious and trapped rather than a free Christian?