Tony Cummings quizzed the Scotland-based comedy duo RODD AND MARCO

Rodd And Marco

Tony: What on earth prompted you to undertake a Christmas project? Don't you think the hard-pressed Cross Rhythms reviewers have heard enough sleigh bells and Santa songs?

Marco: Yes, but on our Christmas songs you will only hear sleigh bells if you are doing some backward masking! And everyone knows about the dyslexic Satanist, who sold his soul to Santa! What that last statement has to do with the price of eggs in Argentina is anyone's guess. Must be the egg nog! Anyhooooooo, we try to be fun and original with ideas that get beaten to death for a month of the year. I have the mentality of a six year old, so Tony, I confess. Christmas is my favourite holiday! I've wanted to do a Christmas project for years! Hopefully it didn't torment you too much! Our usual attitude is: What has everyone else done? and then take the Monty Python approach and say: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! I mean, what other Christmas albums do you know of that have sci fi music, retro 70s funk, a Spice Girls send up, a disco song where Santa Clause sounds like Barry White, a Harem Girls song, and a Christmas panto song in the style of Noel Coward? There's not a cover version of a carol in sight!

If it goes according to plan, are we going to see hundreds of amateur productions of Dashing Through The Show in the years ahead? Isn't that a scary thought?
Isn't this why Dr Evil created Mini-Me? I've got my pinky in my mouth now with a malicious smile and I say: "Amateur Church drama group mini-us's you complete us!" Tony, we need a creative outlet and a way to get our stuff into the shops. We tried the album approach, ('Jurassic Church', 'Acts Files'). What was scary was the blank looks on the different faces of executives of record companies: Rodd And Marco: Hi guys, we want to make albums for the Christian market place that will be fun, humorous, original, unique, challenging, and bring messages over that aren't usually talked about on Christian music albums. Record Executive: (Panicky breathing) Somebody get me my inhaler. I'm hyperventilating. Did you say h. . .h. . . humour? ORIGINAL? UNIQUE? CHALLENGING? Hey, I've got to put my kids through college and pay off the second car. You want to put out an album out called J. . . J. . . JURASSIC CHURCH? No, No, No. Try putting "PRAISE" in the title and sales go up automatically by 5000 units. Boys, why don't you call it JURASSIC PRAISE! You know, something like, "HALLELUJAH, DINOSAURS CAN'T CHEW YA!" Yeah that's it! We'll have great musicians, and then turn them down in the mix. . . Make sure they don't get too creative. . .!

AAAAH! The record companies scared us! We decided to be fruitful and multiply in the drama realm, really a back door into the music we wanted to make. I can't guarantee that everyone who performs to a Rodd And Marco back track will be brilliant. Shakespeare's Hamlet is out there and I am sure there are performances that would cause Will to turn over in the grave. However, there is also the chance to have an amazing performance and though it is the same lines, every performer can bring something unique and creative to its production. We pray and hope that some of our material mutates into something wonderful and original, that doesn't look anything like us.

Tony: How on earth did you get John Cleese to say nice things about the project on the back of the book?

Marco: You and I, and John Cleese himself, have a mutual friend in Rodney Matthews. We're talking Mr Rodney Fantasy artist extraordinaire Matthews. . .with a long list of book and album cover sleeves to his credit, four million posters, a hit ITV cartoon series. John Cleese bought four of Rodney's paintings so there was a bit of a relationship there. Rodney faxed John Cleese our play: "Frankincense Towers" begging the question, what if someone like Basil Fawlty were running the inn at Bethlehem that infamously turned away Joseph and Mary? Mr Cleese faxed Scripture Union Publishers back with his comment that he thoroughly enjoyed the spoof. We haven't been this floored since Toronto. What DO you wear on stage when you do the Spice Guys spoof? Yes, the Spice Guys, the Magi, the Wise Men from the East, following the Star of Bethlehem to the King of Kings. I promise you that I don't wear a one piece Spandex suit with a Union Jack Print. We were in Nepal last May and I brought back some authentic Tibetan hats that are wonderful for the Spice Guys. We had some professional puppet people design these fantastic camel puppets which we wear like that bloke who used to run around with the Emu puppet. We are also having a lady making stylish robes. Early Sunday morning, December 17th, switch on your telly and you may just see all that I am talking about on GMTV's Sunday programme. We will perform the Spice Guys on TV, or even better come out and see us on tour this Christmas.

Tony: Now that you've tied up with Scripture Union, does that mean you've gone legit? When are we getting Rodd And Marco Bible reading notes?

Marco: It's amazing to us that this careful, conservative, loved and trusted organisation would hire radicals like us! Or publish a radical Christmas book/CD for that matter. It used to be that all SU school workers had to wear a suit and tie, and/or business dress to do schools work. I think we have personally brought the dress code down. Being an actor covers a multitude of non-conformity. SU has treated us great, given us great freedom and they like the work we do on their behalf in schools. There are other radicals in SU as well. I think SU is getting gutsy and trying to be more cutting edge, to their credit. So don't worry about us getting too legit, and the market is glutted with good Bible notes. We have other fish to fry!