16 year old student Jenny Gaul tells how a track by Caroline Bonnett impacted her life.

Caroline Bonnett

Many people know of the trials and tribulations you face when you're a teenager. But not all have the strength of God pulling them through. I may not have realised it then, as I was blinded by own self-pity, but there was something or someone who would bring me back on line. Much of my pain and anguish may seem trivial, but I felt that I had a heavy burden on my shoulders that was waiting to be lifted.

A lot of my grief was due to my relationship with friends. I suppose you could say that I personally was not in the "in crowd", and I'm not popular either. My friends however were in the "in crowd" and were very popular too. I always felt that I was like a bad indent on their image. Year 11 (or the 5th year to you oldies) had probably been the worst year for me, as there was added pressure from my exams. But I found that I was constantly being hurt by my friends. They would always talk about the great party they were having, or the concert they were going to on Friday, but would never invite me. I felt let down all the time.

I am just grateful to my family for their support and I thank God for the special relationship I have with my mum. A lot of my other friends were supportive too (they weren't all bad). I also had a very low opinion of myself. I was depressed about not having a boyfriend, about the way I looked, the way I behaved, I was deeply unhappy about who and what I was. I felt as if my whole world had come crashing down around me and inside I was having to deal with the emotional turmoil that was going on. Sometimes it would be so frustrating being unable to explain to people, especially my mum, how I felt.

God was the only person who knew how I felt and what I was going through. And yet he was the one I had left until last to go to. In fact, he came and found me. I was listening to some music whilst doing some coursework. It was an album by Caroline Bonnett called 'Still Time'. I hadn't listened to it for a while and I wanted a change to the usual albums I had been laying. There was one song that really stood out from the collection on the album. It really got to me. You know when you have one song in your head for a day and you can't get it out of your mind so that it almost drives you mad! Well this was what that song was like. I could only remember some of the words, so the next time I had the album playing I listened more carefully to the lyrics. The song was called, 'One In A Million'.

It wasn't until I was going through another of my "I'm useless" periods that I actually picked up the tape again. After the tape had finished the words "You're one in a million/And nobody else will do/I want someone just like you' stuck out. It suddenly dawned on me that while I was busy looking for popularity and reliability, I was looking for it in the wrong place. I was looking for worldly recognition and not recognition in Jesus. I realised that God wanted me just the way I was, he didn't want someone who was super cool" with designer clothes and with a substantial amount of friends. No, he just wanted me the way I am. He is the one being who is reliable, trusting, loving and who wants you for who you are.

The song was planted in my heart at just the right time, in God's time. Because we are all special and unique, with our own distinguishable characteristics, we are all "one in a million" and he wants nobody else but YOU.

One In A Million
Words and music by Caroline Bonnett
Mirror, mirror tell me what you see
Hanging on the wall
Mirror, mirror staring back at me
Don't like your look at all
Today I dream of glossy magazines
The model image without flaw
Each page I turn rips through my self-esteem
Till I hear a voice say
Listen to me, listen to me

You're one in a million
And nobody else would do
I want someone just like you
I want someone just like you

Mirror, mirror, why don't you disguise
You know it's just not fair
Mirror, mirror easy to despise
Too easy to compare
Today I dream of glossy magazines
The model image without flaw
Each page I turn rips through my self-esteem
Till I hear a voice say Listen to me, listen to me

You're one in a million
And nobody else would do
I want someone just like you
I want someone just like you

You're one in a million
And nobody else will do
I want someone just like you
I want someone just like you

Lift your head up
Don't put yourself down
Lift your head up
Don't put yourself down
Lift your head up

You're one in a million
And nobody else will do
I want someone just like you
I want someone just like you

You're one in a million
Nobody else will do
I want someone just like you

© Word Music UK
Reprinted with permission