Jonathan Bellamy heard John Chadwick's life story.

John Chadwick
John Chadwick

Growing up with no father figure, John Chadwick quickly turned to alcohol to cover his pain and with a temper that surfaced when drunk, he was soon spending long stretches of time in prison. Freshly released from his final sentence and living in a tent on the moors, his life has been remarkably turned around with the help of Walk Ministries. Jonathan Bellamy heard his story.

Jonathan: What was life like for you growing up?

John: I don't really remember much about my early life. My dad died when I was three and my grandfather died when I was 4, so I didn't have much male influence in my life at the time. I grew up with my mum and gran. My mum had to go out to work and so my gran really was everything to me. Then my mother got married again when I was about seven and it was a very strict household. I became really unhappy.

Jonathan: So you didn't connect relationally with your stepfather at that time?

John: No we didn't really have any bond and so no male influence again. He was very strict and controlling. If I was in, I would always have to be in my room, I didn't spend any time with the family.

Jonathan: You've mentioned a couple of times about not having any male influence in your life. When you look back now, how important do you think that was?

John: I think it was extremely important, because who else is going to teach ya what to do and who to grow up to be like? I needed a loving father.

Jonathan: How do you think that affected you?

John: First, drinking. I starting drinking very early, aged 13, because I hated going home. I couldn't stand being in the house. If my dad was home, I had to be in me room, so I had to be out. Mum was always stuck in the middle, trying to keep the balance between us both. Then I started drinking and running away from home, lagging school, getting in to trouble, which brought me in to more conflict with my dad. It was never abusive. It was just his attitude and anger. He was a very angry man. I suppose it was the way he was brought up.

Jonathan: When you were doing things like that, did you realise at the time that you were crossing boundaries, or were you oblivious to that?

John: I knew that I was crossing boundaries and sometimes I probably did it on purpose. My attitude a lot of the time was, "Well you're not my dad". I'm not trying to say it's all his fault, it was just as much me as it was him.

Jonathan: How did that progress in to your late teens?

John: I was working. I went in to engineering to start off with, but there was a big drinking culture among us. On Friday and Saturday nights we were all out drinking and sometimes we even used to go to the pub at lunchtime. It wasn't really frowned upon to go for a couple of pints and then to go back to work, so we just went into more drinking and as time went on the drinking took over.

Jonathan: Was there a particular moment where you recognise that you weren't in control of it?