Annie Porthouse brings balance to how women see themselves

Annie Porthouse

Dieting, according to Wikipedia, 'is the practice of eating food in a regulated fashion to achieve or maintain a controlled weight'.
Well. That all sounds fairly straight forward.
Makes you wonder what all the fuss is about.

But there is a fuss. A big one. A big fat one, if you like. We women of the world, (Many of us? Most of us?) feel fat. Big and fat - rather like a beached whale. One that's been pigging out on three-course fishy meals, five times daily, interspersed with several fishy-related snacks, just for fun. A whale who hasn't heeded their whale-buddies' warnings about swimming for exercise, as well as just a means to get from A to B. A whale who doesn't look nearly as wonderful as some of the other stunning creatures of the sea, and who most certainly doesn't feel as wonderful.

"Well, this isn't turning out to be a very helpful article," I hear you cry. Yes, admittedly it's started off with a slightly negative vibe, to say the least. But on the flip-side, sometimes it's the assumption that we are alone in our struggle that makes things worse. The more we are alerted to the fact that many other girls/women are feeling super-sized too, the better.

Look at it this way, if it helps, (even a smidgen): If Barbie were a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours, due to her proportions - so they say. Not an attractive image. And if some shop mannequins were real women, they would be too thin to have periods. Too thin to function as 'normal' women. Unable to have babies. Ill. Sickly. Weak. Half-dead.

Now, we all claim that the crawling-on-all-fours-half-dead look is not the one we're aiming for. Yet it's these very mannequins that we allow to inflict such damage on us. We are constantly desperate to shed some of the padding that seems so very, very attached to us. We've told it many times to 'go away' (and sometimes, not as politely as that) and yet it clings on tightly, as if for it to depart from us would be more than it could bear.

We count calories and carbs, points and sins, until our brain tells us that a single cream cake is akin to a bomb, capable of destroying us completely, and all our hard work. We deny ourselves, for days on end... and then have an unscheduled, monumental pig-out (whale-out?) when it all gets too much to deal with. When we decide that perhaps whales aren't that bad after all, just 'different'.

So, what can we do, if anything? There are no quick fix answers, obviously. If there were, we'd all look like Victoria Beckham. But here are a few thoughts, just in case they help.

If you find yourself 'hating' your body to such an extent that it is leading to serious depression, then perhaps it's time to consider professional counselling. Or at the very least, talking to a good friend, or your Mum, or boyfriend/husband. Men don't always comprehend this issue in the way that we'd like them to, but they can be good listeners, with a bit of training. It might be that dieting is not the answer for you - instead, you may need to learn to accept and even to love the body you inhabit. An important reminder: the average dress size is a '16' (in the UK, which translates to a '14' in the US). Not a catwalk size '6'.

Or, if it's just something that 'gets you down' from time to time, but isn't that big a deal, perhaps decide, right now, this minute, that it's not going to get you down any longer. Okay, easier said than done. In which case, maybe you ought to decide that it's not going to get you down 'quite so often'. After all, as clichéd as it sounds, there are starving people in our world. People who don't have access to clean water, or healthcare, or education. Isn't it a bit 'rich' (in more ways than one) to be complaining about our extra pounds, when people who lack both types of pounds would happily swap places, if they only had the opportunity.

Finally, if you do decide to diet, or to continue with one, make sure you don't go it alone. Share your feelings. Get real support (as well as some of those Bridget-Jones-style support knickers). Stay sensible and healthy. Make it a lifestyle choice (eating less and eating right, and if you're up to it - exercising more), rather than something you 'do', before real life can resume. When clothes shopping with friends, put real time and effort into helping them to discover what looks best on them, whatever size they are... and request that they return the favour.

And conquer your fear of cream cakes - as weapons of mass destruction go, they are relatively harmless.