Heather Bellamy spoke with psychotherapist Peter Mockford to find out how you can deal with the roots of depression and what others can do to help.



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Peter: A psychologist called Winnicott put it like this - he says you have to have good enough parenting. I think good enough parenting is the capacity to just keep loving and to have an open acceptance and open loving towards your children and to constantly engage with them. That can be very hard. Where I live, parents are under massive pressures economically and in many other ways and often it's the kids who are farmed out. We need to say how much we value parenting. Society also needs to say it and where necessary adjust things to enable people to actually parent and be with children.

Heather: If somebody is suffering with depression, what could they do, if they aren't going to have access to someone like yourself to have sessions in psychotherapy?

Peter: Depression is very isolating, so the more you are associated with groups, the more support you get and the more you interact in the community the better. The more you can do physical activity the better too, because depression has a massive physical effect. It is incredibly helpful to get plenty of exercise. In fact I saw one piece of research that says walking up mountains is very good for you. I think the thing is to get out, get exercise and get involved more in the community and it will have a positive effect.

If you need access to things like parenting classes then go to the health centre and find them, because I think our children deserve it. However badly I've been parented, I really would like to do a better job. In fact I wish I could go back several years and parent my kids differently.

Heather: You're a vicar as well as a psychotherapist, so is there a role for faith in overcoming depression?

Peter: Absolutely, because abandonment is a factor behind a lot of depression; about no contact with one's main care giver. The promise of Christ is that He's always there and if people know the presence of God and know that He is with them, then it's a huge step forward.

Heather: And how can we help those that are suffering with depression around us?

Peter: We need to not stigmatise, accept people and thirdly be prepared to walk with them. I keep stressing this, but one of the things that's really difficult in our society is staying with people and forming relationships, but we have a responsibility, particularly if you come from the Christian faith, to do just that.

Heather: If someone is struggling with depression, what would you want to say to them?

Peter: I think the first thing I need to say is if you're suffering from depression, then your first port of call is the GP; secondly please move, don't wait, because the more you wait with depression the worse it gets. Please see your GP and if you can, get involved with the community in some form or other. CR

The opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those held by Cross Rhythms. Any expressed views were accurate at the time of publishing but may or may not reflect the views of the individuals concerned at a later date.