Joy Farrington on finding good in difficult circumstances

Joy Attmore

People often talk about how hard change is; how they struggle with seasons of transition and how they can't wait to step into something new. I totally get that. In 2011 I entered a season of transition that I haven't quite exited from yet. It has definitely had its challenges, but it has also been inspiring, giving me new perspectives and bringing me to a place where I feel more alive than ever.

I have to be honest though, this doesn't mean I am finding life to be easy and trouble-free, or that I am feeling on top of my game, because in a lot of ways I am feeling weaker now than I have in ages. The last seven months have drained a lot out of me and it is taking time to rejuvenate emotionally, spiritually and even physically. However putting this aside, these months have also left me with priceless gifts that I am not about to give away!

We have a choice to make in situations that we find hard, disappointing or painful. Often our self-protective instincts come into play, we bury our heads in the sand and hope that we can just ignore the unpleasant circumstances around us, but we can also choose to side-step self-sufficiency, to be brave and reach out for help and comfort. It's our default to play the self-protection card, I often do, but I am learning more and more the power of letting others in and choosing to listen to the good report.

I was recently sat around the dining room table with a group of friends that I regularly hang out with. As we were chatting, one of them made a comment that really stuck with me, 'there is always a good report.' And it's true. At the beginning of the evening I hadn't been able to think of anything great or amazing that had been happening in my world, but I was just reading the wrong lines. There is so much that I have to be thankful for and rejoice in, even in the midst of a hard, or different from how I imagined, season.

I hadn't planned for the last few months to turn out the way that they have. At the beginning of this year I was living and working in Quito, Ecuador helping to run a rehabilitation programme for women transitioning out of the sex industry and exiting prison. It was a challenging time for me but I adored the women that I got to serve there and was loving the privilege of journeying with them on a day to day basis. In January I was suddenly faced with an unexpected problem with my Ecuadorian visa and had to make the hard decision to leave earlier than my intended stay of until April this year. I then travelled to the States to see my fiancé for a couple of months, which was definitely not a bad thing, and there we continued with the application process to get me a visa so we can get married in LA in August. Whilst I was visiting Phillip however, we found out that it was going to take longer for my visa to come through and we would therefore need to postpone the wedding...again.

I now find myself back in Liverpool, England taking time out to rest from a season that I found quite stressful for various reasons. On paper it may sound like I've been dealt a poor hand recently, but actually I think it's quite the opposite. I have gained a greater level of peace simply by deciding to rest and not expend lots of precious energy through striving. My relationship with Phillip has deepened in new ways, adding even more value to something that was already priceless. Even before these things though, I feel like I have gained a change of perspective. The order of priorities has been shifted in my heart and this has brought with it the greatest release of freedom.

What we do with our hands and time, our work or ministry, is often seen by many as the most important thing and would come at the top of a lot of people's list of priorities. This would probably be true of me in the past, being someone who is often overwhelmed by the need I see around me. However what I do is not as important as the One that I live for, or the relationships that I am surrounded by. Ministry was intended to be birthed out of family, not a striving to single-handedly change the world.

So you see, there is always a good report to be found each day, in every season, and as our vision widens to behold every hidden beauty, our hearts deepen their capacity to love all of humanity.