Marie-Louise Flint of Tavistock tells how a track by Out Of The Grey impacted her life.

Out of the Grey

This time last year I was just coming to the end of my first and what was to be my last term at teacher training college. Those three months at college were a real landmark in my Christian life (which is only four years old). Ever since I became a Christian I had always been very aware of what we Christians looked like from the other side. And although I certainly knew which side of Heaven's door I wanted to be, I still looked out and wanted to be a part of the world. At the bottom of this was a longing to be accepted by everyone.

To be accepted by everyone I thought you had to behave just like everyone around you. I gave that a try at college. I turned by back on God - I tried to shut him out. Just as the lyric says, "Somewhere in the growing up sometimes we grow out of touch with the tenderness that drew us to the truth, it's true/If we close our minds and lock our hearts up tight there's no room for love in what we do." And instead of letting our Lord's love fulfil me, I threw myself into every aspect of college life -academically, physically and socially. By Christmas 1992 I was as good as broken.

In the New Year I found myself lost, disillusioned and without direction. I felt as though Heaven's door had been shut on me, let alone on those who had never entered through it. In this state I returned to my home in Devon. There I met Tony Cummings who told me Cross Rhythms were looking for unpaid volunteer helpers. Soon I found myself working for Cross Rhythms. What I found in Cross Rhythms played a big part in helping me find my way back into God's kingdom. It was whilst we were franticly trying to put together an issue of the mag I heard Out Of The Grey's 'Shape Of Grace'. One song really struck me as it played over the chaos. The line "Don't shut the door on the ones who would believe/If they could see in us the love that they've been looking for" penetrated my heart, making me squirm. This is exactly what I was doing. It made me stop and ask myself 'Does your behaviour show God's love?' The answer was NO. If anyone had called me a hypocrite they would have been right.

I was in the trap of suppressing the outworking of God's Spirit just to fit in with everyone around, just so / didn't feel left out. How selfish in the long run it was to them - my non-Christian friends who would be "left out".

Hearing this song helped me get a grip and change my heart so that God's love could begin to flow through me to reach other people. It's been a hard eight months since this song challenged me but the blessings have been so great. Two friends have entered through "The Door Of Heaven"(and others are on the way) and I am now engaged to one of them (we will be getting married in the spring). Isn't God's grace good? Working part time at Cross Rhythms I am in a wonderful position to hear lots of great contemporary Christian music. But that Out Of The Grey album and that anointed song is always going to have a special place in my collection.

The Door Of Heaven
By Christine Dente, Charlie Peacock, Scott Dente

Remember when we first were led to Heaven's door
By the hands of those who showed us something more
Their arms were open with no strings attached
And the words they spoke to us meant so much more
And now our lives speak to those behind
What do they see on the other side?

Don't shut the door of Heaven on the ones who would believe
If they could see in us the love that they've been looking for
Don't shut the door of Heaven

Somewhere in the growing up sometimes we grow out of touch
With the tenderness that drew us to the truth, it's true
If we close our minds and lock our hearts up tight
There's no room for love in what we do
And now our lives speak to those behind
What do they see on the other side?
© BMG Music/Sparrow Song. Used with permission.