Heather Bellamy spoke with Terry Waite about his years in captivity, how he survived, his understanding of suffering and the creative redemption and forgiveness that has come out of what he experienced in Beruit.

Terry: I survived it in several ways. First of all, if you can stand on truth and be mentally alive in that way, truth, I discovered, is a very strong ally if you have it on your side. Fortunately, I could tell the truth. Whenever I was asked questions as to whether or not I was an agent of government, I could answer truthfully I was not and that was a great help.

Secondly, you learn to live from within. I travelled widely prior to this experience, but when I was there I couldn't travel at all; I couldn't move beyond the confines of what you could move, or where you could move when you're chained. So I realised quickly that I had to learn to live from within and utilise my brain to keep alive.

I began to write in my head my first book. 'Taken on Trust' was written entirely in my head during those years, and it was put down on paper when I came out.

Also, I was grateful for the fact that I had been brought up as an Anglican, as a member of the Church of England, as a chorister with a regular use of language from the Book of Common Prayer. Unconsciously as a child I'd assimilated and remembered this. So when I was in captivity, I could go back to those days, and I could remember the services of the Church, which I used to recite to myself and I would remember the prayers I had learned as a child. For example, 'Lighten our darkness we beseech thee, oh Lord, and by thy great mercy defend us from all the powers and dangers of this night.' That is a very old collect of the Church, a very old prayer, but it has great significance and great meaning when you are in a situation of extremity; when you are in the dark and when you are afraid. Somehow it has also the harmony and rhythm of language.

I believe good language is important, like good music. Both language and music have that capacity to breathe harmony into the soul. What you are looking for in that situation is to somehow try and maintain inner harmony, because you see your natural body deteriorate, and you begin to fear whether you will deteriorate mentally and spiritually. It is vitally important that you do not deteriorate mentally and spiritually, but it can happen and has happened to many people who endure solitary confinement.

Heather: Many people would become bitter in their faith, or would turn from God, or would blame God. It doesn't sound like you did that. Why was that?

Terry: I'd never do that, because I believe that in our faith, and in our understanding of Christianity, we are called to be - if I can put it like this - co-creators with God. We have to take responsibility for ourselves.

I don't believe that God is sitting upstairs, directing every action for us. He calls us to be participants in the creative process. This means we have to take a measure of responsibility for our own actions. It was my action that sent me there. I don't expect for one moment, divine protection from some of the ups and downs of life. What I do expect, and what I do receive, is that when you do suffer the downs of life, and when you do suffer pain or difficulty or disappointment, you have the resources there to be able to cope with them. But because you're a believer, doesn't mean to say that you're exempt from the problems and difficulties that occur to other people in this world who do not have faith. You have access to resources to enable you to deal with them.

Heather: As you take responsibility, have you ever regretted your decision to take the job that you did, that eventually led to your capture?

Terry: Not for one moment, because it has in fact led to very creative things. Just two days ago I was visiting someone in a prison. He's been there a long time, but I think he's going to be released because I believe he is innocent. I said to him, "This experience can be turned round and can be utilised by you for tremendous creative ends eventually."

Now let me put it this way. We live in a world that's full of suffering, and suffering is bitter; it's never easy to bear, and it can, in fact, destroy, but it need not destroy. Suffering can be taken and turned round and utilised creatively. And that is what I've tried to do.

I have found that although I don't look for suffering, you don't need to look for it, it'll find you, and I don't want to go through the experience again, what I have said is that I take that experience, and I've learned from it. It's enabled me most importantly to be able to change sympathy, which I've always had for the outcast of this world, into empathy. The difference between sympathy and empathy is that sympathy means 'to feel sorry for', empathy means that you're able to be alongside people and know how they feel in situations of difficulty and extremity.

Heather: How did those years in captivity change you as a person?

Terry: I went into captivity with a salaried job; I'd had a salaried job all my life. My job had been left open for me at Lambeth Palace as an assistant to the Archbishop of Canterbury and I could have gone back to it, but I said, "No, I'm not going to do that. I'm now going to live the rest of my life, earning my living by writing and by lecturing, and I'm going to give my time away to the organisations that I feel are important to me in life."