Where our intrepid editorial team take an askance look at the weird and wonderful world of music and media.
I hear there were quite a few disappointed customers who turned up to see the Electrics gig at Milton Keynes on the Celtic rockers' 'Visions And Dreams' tour. The group didn't show. The disappointed punters would have been absolutely flabbergasted if they'd heard the reason - the entire band was in jail! Apparently, the band were winging their way down the M6 on their way from Glasgow, gear stashed in transit, when they were stopped by the police whose computer had shown that the band's van - which the group had unwittingly bought a year before - was in fact stolen! Although avoiding 'Gospel Band In Stolen Van Scandle' headlines in the gutter press, the sorry episode did result in a confiscated vehicle (the band are now van-less) and a few hours in the chokey. Bet such adventures never befall Amy Grant.
While in an Electrical mode, those North Of The Border readers who attended the Impact Festival last year will have caught 'new white metal sensation' Death II Serf. This was their second UK gig, their first being at Scotland's Spring Harvest youth event where they were such a sensation that girls were queuing afterwards to obtain autographs. Sidelong Glance feel it is its painful duty to reveal that this band of radical head bangers is none other than a spoof inflicted on a gullible Christian public by Electrics frontman, children's worker and driver of stolen vans, Sammy Horner. "We did it to see if anyone would fall for it," Sammy commented. "We had no songs to sing. We just made maximum noise and I sang bus timetables interspersed with falsetto screams."
No doubt you wondered about the sanity of the Cross Rhythms team after Sidelong Glance in CR9 insisted on referring to pics that were not there. Let's call it a technical hitch (No, let's call it The Curse Of Designer Saul. Ed) but as several of you have asked to see the missing mugshots, here are the pics of One Bad Pig's Kosher and CCM Magazine editor John Styll. You will remember that our editor somehow mistook the man on the left for the man on the right. Er...yes. (Look, I'd like to say here that any thoughts suspicious readers might have that it was I who pulled those pics in CR9 had better write to me, at The Tony Cummings Hospital For The Profoundly Short-Sighted...)
(N.B. I was only trying to protect our beloved Ed. Saul - Designer).
And just so's we put right all our messups, here's that CD sleeve which you'll remember featured the face of singer Simon Foster on the cover (even though Mr Foster is nowhere to be heard on the album) and what Cheapo Cheapo Designs, otherwise known as the Cross Rhythms Design Department, did to it for the cover of the first ever issue of Cross Rhythms.
You probably are finding difficulty in following this issue's Sidelong Glance (So what's new? Ed.), so let us conclude with another tale of apathy, taking up the theme about which our venerable and extremely short-sighted editor holds forth about in his Cummings At Ya editorial this issue. Chris Cole and Tony Cummings, long recognising that Apathy was an immense problem in the church, decided that the topic needed addressing at 1991's Cross Rhythms Festival, so they put on a seminar about apathy. Guess what? Nobody came...not even the speaker!The opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those held by Cross Rhythms. Any expressed views were accurate at the time of publishing but may or may not reflect the views of the individuals concerned at a later date.