In each issue we print the lyric of a song - gospel or CCM, sacred or secular - which God has used in some way to touch somebody's life. This time Mary Brows, a mother and journalist from Thames Ditton, describes how she was touched by a song.

John Watson
John Watson

Music has been part of my life from childhood. Dad came from a musical family. We grew up on a diet of Eric Coates (Dad's cousin), Gracie Fields (his favourite star) and Gilbert And Sullivan - Dad, who was a tenor, sang in many G&S productions. He was a strange man: he went to church every Sunday and made all the right noises, then came home and knocked us about. Praise God, he was born again and baptised at the age of 90!

Our dear Christian mother came from a medical family with artistic ability. We children inherited varying degrees of talent. My brother had a lovely soprano voice. I spent hours singing and dancing to old records, stopping every few minutes to wind up the antiquated gramophone. Then at nine years old I discovered - oh joy! - that Woolworths sold exercise books. Writing now became my main passion - I spent the school holidays writing adventure stories. This was frowned on by my mother, who thought I should be learning housewifery. As it happened, I was press-ganged into this on many occasions, for Mummy was often ill and I was the eldest of four.

When I was 11, I attended a school that had a Christian headmistress. We began the day with a Scripture Union Bible reading. As seed was sown in my heart for began to seek God. Surely, I reasoned, there must be more to life than being born, going to school, getting married, bringing up children, etc?

At this point we moved to Richmond and joined the Baptist church. There my question was answered when I heard the gospel. I asked Jesus into my heart and became "a new creation in Christ." What drew me irresistibly was the revelation that "Jesus loves me and gave himself for me." I soon found that God was my heavenly father.

In due course I married and had two children. There was no "live" church in our area so we lacked fellowship. We took the boys to Sunday school and Crusaders but our spiritual lives were at a low ebb. Something was missing. When the children were small my husband, Arthur, contracted meningitis, which wasn't diagnosed in time; he became paralysed and wheelchair-bound. I added the role of carer to those of wife, mother, part time bookkeeper and occasional freelance journalist.

Just before Arthur's illness we learned about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I prayed for this but nothing happened - then. A visitor to Stoke Mandeville Hospital laid hands on Arthur to receive the baptism of the Spirit. Five months later I received his fullness. Hallelujah! The Holy Spirit became our helper in a very real way.

Arthur had a lovely Spirit-filled bath nurse, Cathy, who was a great blessing to us. In April 1990 Cathy invited me to hear Chris Demetriou preach at the village hall. The preaching of the word, the anointed music and the love showered on us by Chris and his wife Loraine were a revelation. The Holy Spirit used Barry Evans's voice and Grenville Harding's keyboards to lift burdens and bring release to many souls. Music played a vital part in those services, bringing us into God's presence and preparing our hearts to listen to him. Later the church, Cornerstone, moved to a hall in Esher with wheelchair access and I was able to take Arthur. Now he can't wait to go each Sunday!

One Sunday Chris announced that Vinesong was coming (Chris was Vinesong's first manager). We hadn't heard them before but their concert was memorable - unique and exciting at the same time. I knew the songs "Let Your Living Water Flow" and "Peace Like A River" (which are sung worldwide) but didn't know that they were composed in the Spirit by their leader, John Watson. It was a privilege for our church to welcome Vinesong, who ministers to the body of Christ in 75 nations. Lives are changed as they share the love of Jesus in every denomination, race and culture. I bought as many of their albums as I could and my family enjoys them too. It is the music that touches me. Anointed music reaches us at a deep level and feeds our spirits.

After an unhappy childhood and a tragic illness in my family, I felt rather battered inside. At times life seemed hard. What has kept me going over the years is the certainty that "Jesus loves and gave himself for me." Praise helps too. When we begin to praise him, he lifts us and draws us close to his heart.

Music has healing powers: we were blessed by Barry and Grenville's ministry, then Vinesong came along. Their music ministers the healing and unifying Spirit of God. It is difficult to pick out one particular song because they all touch me in different ways. "When It Hurts So Bad" (from the album let Your Living Water Flow') became a favourite: "Jesus loves you so/And he wants you to know/He loves you so/He's the healer of your soul/It's the hand of the man that once saved you/That's reaching out right now."

I don't know what the future holds, but because Jesus died in my place I can trust him for everything. But one thing I do know: I'm not going to heaven in a hearse, I'm going in a chariot of fire!

WHEN IT HURTS SO BAD
Words and music by John Watson

When it hurts so bad
Oh, why don't you give it to Jesus!
He can see your troubled heart
He can mend the pain that binds you

Jesus loves you so
And he wants you to know
He loves you so
He's the healer of your soul
As you feel his Spirit moving
Deep within your heart
Like a shepherd he will lead you
Back into his fold
Jesus loves you so
And he wants you to know
He loves you so
He's the healer of you soul

It's the hand of the man that once saved you
That's reaching out right now
His tears of joy will cleanse you
As you come to him right now
The balm of his love will surround you
He'll never let you down

When it hurts so bad
Oh, why don't you give it to Jesus!
He can see your troubled heart
He can mend the pain that binds you

Jesus loves you so
And he wants you to know
He loves you so
He's the healer of your soul

When it hurts so bad
Oh, why don't you give it to Jesus!
When it hurts so bad
Oh, why don't you give it to Jesus!
When it hurts so bad
Oh, why don't you give it to Jesus!

© 1986 Ampelos Music (UK)/Kingsway's Thankyou Music. Reprinted with permission. CR

The opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those held by Cross Rhythms. Any expressed views were accurate at the time of publishing but may or may not reflect the views of the individuals concerned at a later date.