Nottingham-based singer/songwriter PAUL BELL talks us through each song on his 'First Light' album

"Beautiful And Brave"
The journey of this song
started when some friends I'd not heard from for a while posted some
news on Facebook. They'd given birth to a beautiful daughter, Beau
Matilda, but sadly Beau was born very premature and only lived for a
couple of weeks. Beau's mum Jody wrote so beautifully about their
loss, and also about the way they and their friends had chosen to
remember Beau with something called Beautiful And Brave Fortnight to
mark the anniversary of Beau's short life. Everyone would do something
beautiful or brave. I was really touched by the way they had mixed
their grief with hope and I was really inspired and wanted to share
the story and the sentiment, and to remember Beau Matilda, which means
"beautiful and brave".
"Down The Middle"
We so often want to point to
the issues outside of ourselves, rather than face up to our own
failures and inadequacies. We all have the capacity for beauty,
brilliance, goodness and also the potential to make a real mess of
things. As Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn observed, "The line separating good
and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between
political parties either - but right through every human heart."
"Even When You're Gone"
This was one of the
first songs I wrote for this project. My Dad passed away in 2014, and
this song came out of that experience. Like ripples on a lake, or the
planting of a seed. . . we don't always get to find out the
consequences of our actions or the effects of our affections. But
looking back, I can still recognise the legacy of the kindness I've
been shown by my Dad, and by others. I see it in family, in friends,
in myself. So this is a song of hope and confidence that the love we
show to others makes a difference far wider than the small part we see
in the moment.
"Look Back, Smiling"
When we look back on life,
I'm convinced that the most precious things are the times we spend
together. Not just online, but face to face. Where we're accepted,
we're known, we're loved. I wanted to write a song that celebrates
those genuine connections, whether fleeting or lifelong.
"Not Goodbye"
This is probably the most personal
song I've recorded, about the experience of losing someone close to
me. There is sadness, but also hope mingled in for a promised reunion.
This is for Dad. I'll see you someday, on the other side.
"Mend The Cracks With Gold"
When something is
broken it's easy to throw it away, or replace it, but in the Japanese
ceramic technique Kintsugi, broken pottery is repaired with a glue
mixed with gold, to become more beautiful than it was before. The
cracks become a feature, part of the story of the object, and are
celebrated. I wrote this as a song of hope for those who feel messed
up, or broken, or who feel like their mistakes rule them out. It could
be better than it ever was. . .
"So Bright"
This is one of a few songs on the
record which are songs of belonging, songs of togetherness. I love
those opportunities to gather, to bring our questions, our worries,
our failures and our hopes and know that we're accepted. There is
reassurance and comfort that comes in that moment.
"Love. . . It's Gonna Be Fine"
It's my privilege
to perform at some wonderful festivals around the UK, and this song
was written for Greenbelt 2015 where I was performing. The theme that
year was R S Thomas' poem The Bright Field and it was beautiful to
sing it there and be told by some in the crowd that it summed up
Greenbelt for them. In a world where we often divide into our separate
camps, or rush on to the next thing, there is something really
beautiful and healing about taking a moment to gather together.
"Things No-One Knows"
I wanted to write a song
about questions. There will always be areas where we don't see
clearly, some of the answers to the "why" question will be bigger than
we could get our heads around. Faith doesn't give us all the answers.
In many ways it gives us something better - the promise that God will
walk with us.
"Safely Home"
At every stage of life, at its
beginning and even its end, I believe we can know the love of a
heavenly Father. This was another song of comfort. Do not worry.
"What Matters In Time"
The record finishes with
some words of encouragement, however unqualified I may be to give
them. In many ways, it's a song I'm singing to myself. To keep leaning
into love and wonder and hope. To keep a soft heart in the midst of
difficulty and to resist independence in favour of interdependence. I
can be slow to catch on to the most important things.