Mike Davies comments

Just before Christmas I received a phone call asking whether I could stand in as a matter of urgency to administer a wedding ceremony. I checked my schedule and I was available. On one hand this was one of the most fascinating weddings I have ever been involved with - on the other it was a shame I had not been involved in the journey of being able to acquaint myself with the joyful couple prior to the occasion to learn their account of love and how they had been brought together. Due to the limited time available I did not actually speak to the couple until the day of their wedding. The groom I spoke to for the first time twenty minutes before the wedding and the bride I heard her voice for the very first time when she made her vows.

Now, this made me consider the romance of not just a married couple, a couple who may be dating, but also for a Christian in his relationship with the Lord.

When we have a good relationship we start with noble intentions of being good friends, without end daily life soon starts to take over as we become accustomed to each other. The initial intentions can go astray or be forgotten but in life there is a necessity to ensure that our husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, children, good friends and most importantly the Lord Himself know that they are a priority in our life.

I can speak from experience in knowing that work and ministry can soon take over, issues regarding finances can be a priority and slowly but surely the intention of making our loved ones a priority soon slip away as we become weighed down with daily life.

In our home we have a weekly 'marriage time', this is when Justine and I centre on each other and not other issues regarding the family, church, work, etc. Having worked through The Marriage Course (Holy Trinity Brompton) several times we are very familiar with this exercise. We try to encourage others to do the same. Basically, we propose that the evening is treated as though we were on our first date. We make sure we are dressed smartly, then we have a meal together and we focus on each other, speaking and listening, possible romantic music in the background. If we stay at home we take turns to organise the evening and cook the meal. Now this is something we can all do, whatever our budget. The importance is that we make each other know that we are a priority in each other's life and that there is time to listen, to talk matters through.

The same principle can, of course, be applied to a family time with children, time with the Lord, and time with close friends.

My concern with increasing job losses and financial pressures is that instead of working together we take out the stress on those that we love.

During a wedding service the vows usually include the following words: "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish 'till death us do part."

Marriage and in fact, friendship is a gift. A gift we need to keep and to treasure. I am a great believer in romance and joyful commitment, but appreciate it can be tough to keep that alive or to re-kindle it.

Every now and again someone will come and tell me a joke. It is amazing how many jokes involve the disparity between a man and a woman, a husband and a wife. For me, I try to remind people that it offers us no benefit at all in putting down a husband or a wife. We could do with encouragement of each other in the benefit of a married life, a good relationship, a good friendship and a good prayer life, rather than trying to fill our minds with matters than can actually prevent us from fully embracing a gift that has been given to us by God Himself. I view it that my wife is a gift from God, as is our little boy Joshua.

The following is a poem written many years ago by Eller Wheeler Wilcox about a woman who had an affair.

Each day our lives that had been one life at the start,
Farther and farther seemed to drift apart.
Dead was the old romance of man and maid.
Your talk was all of politics and trade.
Your work, your club, the mad pursuit of gold
Absorbed your thoughts. Your duty kiss felt cold
Upon my lips. Life lost its zest, its thrill
Until
One fateful day when earth seemed very dull
It suddenly grew bright and beautiful.
I spoke a little, and he listened much;
There was attention in his eyes, and such
A note of comradeship in his low tone
I felt no more alone.
There was a kindly interest in his air;
He spoke about the way I dressed my hair.
And praised the gown I wore.
It seemed a thousand, thousand years and more,
Since I had been so noticed. Had mine ear
Been used to compliments year after year,
If I had heard you speak
As this man spoke, I had not been so weak.

Now this is not an excuse for the affair of a married woman but it explains how weakness can creep in. In the men's group in our church we often remind the married men that in regard to the girl that they once fought for and married they still need to keep fighting for her and not to be complacent.

With so many pressures around the world it is my prayer that you take a new direction in the way you speak and treat those around you. That you treasure the relationships that you may have and you make a note in your diary to prioritise your thoughts and attentions on those who you love.

Relationships do take time and effort - remembering to pray for those that are in relationship with you - remembering to allocate time to continue your relationship with the Lord Himself.

I appreciate that many will be struggling in a current relationship or through broken relationships and have either walked a difficult walk and are possibly still walking that walk, but don't lose another day - start afresh today in the God given destiny that you have been given.

As I visit various groups, I find many that have deep emotional hurts through
relationships. If reading this article you would like prayer then please let me know and I would be pleased to stand with you.

Love is so precious.