Spending time alone with God

Helen Kendall

I am reading a book at the moment called "Secrets of the secret place" by Bob Sorge. It is all about spending time with God alone, in secret, away from everything else. A recent comment by the author seems to reinforce what I have been hearing all over the place over the last few months; "God's primary desire for your life is not that you discover his will and walk in it; His primary desire is that you draw near to Him and come to know Him".(pg 32)

I think this is something I have always had difficulty with. As a teenager, like most people my age I struggled and squirmed over that great question; what is God's plan for my life? Where should I go? And more to the point, what should I do? Ten years later I find that God has guided me and led me, not always in the way I thought he would. Not to the places I imagined, but he has spoken to me and guided me here. I still have questions, Am I doing the right thing? Who should I be? Am I enough? What next? Perhaps life experience and training has dulled the intense need for answers. I am self sufficient to a level that I wasn't then, I have a knowledge of the world that allows me to make informed decisions in a way I couldn't at 18, but have I been missing the point all along? Have I missed the fact that he just wants to know me? In my more honest moments I admit I may have desired his direction more than I have desired him. I have looked for his words, more than I have tried to know him, or be known by him.

I am a project person, a do-er, someone who makes things happen. I whisk through life fixing things, achieving things and I have a tendency to value projects over people. Yes, I allocate times and places for relationships, but always squeezed around getting things done. I have started to realise that perhaps I relate to God in the same way. I allocate him a moment or two when it suits me. I use him when I need something, expect him to be there when I need help, but when I am busy I dash past and don't speak. Doing what he has told me to do is more important, or maybe easier, than getting to know him. Unfortunately relationships aren't measurable or quantifiable. You can't make a list and tick off the things you've done. I hate that. Does anybody else feel the same? Perhaps it is inevitable that someone who struggles to put people above projects would find relating to a God I can't see difficult, but of course he made me the way I am and loves me that way too.

In the end I can blame my disposition, I can say its not my gift to relate to God, but here is a warning from the Psalms - Message version, "Love God all you saints, God takes care of all who stay close to him, but he pays back in full those arrogant enough to go it alone" Psalm 31. And I think it's hard for everyone to find time to really get to know God in a society that constantly pulls us away from stillness and reflection.

So my challenge (both to you and to me) is this: Be honest with God. Don't kid yourself that you really want to know him if you are just using him for answers. If that's you, then say sorry and make some time to be with Him, just because you want to get to know him. In the end it's worth the sacrifice and discipline because a life lived close to him will always achieve so much more, and you'll be so much more fulfilled, than you could ever be on your own.