1 Corinthians 4:15, Ephesians 4:15

Dan & Claire Maudhub

'There are a lot of people around who can't wait to tell you what you've done wrong, but there aren't many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up. It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God's Message to you that I became your father.'
1 Corinthians 4:15 (The Message)

I was very fortunate as a child to have a wonderful set of Sunday school teacher's right up until I left school. I always went to church and youth groups, I had fantastic parents and went to a really nice school; a lot of people took a lot of time to teach me everything I needed to get a good set of exam results and learn about my faith... but there were quite a few things I was left clueless about.

I made lots of mistakes in my relationships. I hurt myself through wrong involvements and totally misunderstood Father God's heart for me in that area; I wish I'd had someone who would have stood in my way and stopped me from making those mistakes and helped me see how my emotional hurts caused me to invite further ones. I found growing up emotionally and physically a lonely and worrying time; I wish I'd had someone to whom I could ask the 'embarrassing' questions and who could tell me I was normal. I had lots of skills and lots of exam certificates; I wish I'd had someone to help me know what to do with them and not go down blind alleys in my career path. There were gaps.

The gaps were not in the information I received as such - we all receive Personal and Social education at school and hear a lot of sermons at church; the gaps were due to lack of mentoring. Paul says in Corinthians that we may have a lot of instructors in our faith but he seems to say that a 'Father' is even more valuable. The way The Message puts it is that a father takes the 'time and effort to help you grow up'. It was only when I left university and became part of our church in Kent that I experienced mentoring in my life. I wasn't allowed just to slink off after the service on Sunday mornings! I got invited to lunch and started to get to know the church family well. People started asking me the 'hard' questions! They weren't just interested in my grasp of 'spiritual' matters but in the whole ME. And as I built trust with various people and let them into my world, I received loving correction, wise counsel and prayer ministry. I 'grew up' in all areas of my life (Ephesians 4:15).

Dan and I have just had our first baby. The last two months with him have been utterly wonderful and completely baffling at the same time! There's so much to do and so much to work out through pregnancy, birth and the first few weeks of having a small baby! I am so grateful that we have around us many men and women who are already parents. They have been able to allay our fears and insecurities, encourage us in our decisions, teach us how to handle different situations and laugh and cry with us in the highs and lows we've experienced. To me, this is family, this is true community and this is Church as Jesus intended it - not just sharing information but sharing experience and helping each other in the nitty gritty of life.

We now love to mentor people too. We love to talk to them about every area of their lives - emotional, spiritual, financial, social and physical. We try to make a life of faith real for people. For example, in our 'Girl's Mentoring' programme, the girls are encouraged to engage in a real way with God's word and issues that girls face. They are also taught to budget, cook, fix things and exercise!

So, do you desire to be mentored? You need to seek out wise people who are leaders or those who your leaders trust and ask them to help you in particular areas of your life. It's important that you want to change and are willing to let people know how you're really doing. You'll have to be prepared to receive correction, listen to advice and act on it. Let God work in every area of your life and you'll be blessed, matured and ready to help others grow too.

God bless you in every area.