1 Corinthians 7: 1-2, Mark 12: 19-25, Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12, Luke 17: 34-35, 1 Corinthians 10: 23
I'm sure it's a daydream that not only used to cross my mind, but
other girls in their early teens the world over. Flitting thoughts of
love, a lengthy daydream, that one perfect person, talk of 'soul
mates', maybe even a knight in shining armour! I'm sure we've all
dreamt these thoughts at some point!
Even guy's I'm sure you too could see during your tender teenage years the advantages of being with the one person you really loved, all be it far off in the distance?
As the years go on daydreams fade and change, but as Christians we're still wondering what God has in store for us. Singleness? Marriage? How can we find that right person?
It seems to keep on reoccurring. Forgive me if this sounds obvious, but I think the Bible points out clear markers that avoid the worry we can let it bring...
Sometimes, I believe God calls a person to be single.
Be it for a period of time whilst completing some form of ministry or for life. It's a tremendous call, but I do believe God asks this of a few people, because He knows certain things can only be done without attachments. Religious orders take vows of celibacy, believing this is the only way they can complete the work God has called them to. It's a decision I've seen is not made lightly but with prayer and a constant seeking of God, plus total submission and total reliance on Him.
"Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7: 1-2
Although the passage says each man should have his own wife, in rare occasions God does call certain people not to marry, for it is better not to marry to be truly focused on God's work. Obviously not for everybody because humankind wouldn't be able to carry on! But you can see my point.
In a different vain sometimes, I believe that God can bring a couple together, sometimes in miraculous circumstances to fulfil whatever His will is for them.
To complete a joint project that only they can do, or whichever, sometimes God brings two people together and it's one of those situations where clichéd as it sounds 'you just know'.
So what about the majority of us?
If not called to direct singleness, or direct partnership, I believe God is so wonderfully graceful. We get to discover for ourselves the best, well suited person to be our companion for this life. I believe God doesn't want us to over complicate this either. But He does want us to make the right choices. He doesn't want us to agonise over it, to worry and to stress. That's not His will. As long as we...
"'Teacher,' they said, "Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother
dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow
and have children for his brother. Now there were seven brothers. The
first one married and died without leaving any children. The second
one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the
same with the third. In fact, none of the seven left any children.
Last of all, the woman died too. At the resurrection whose wife will
she be, since the seven were married to her?' Jesus replied, 'Are you
not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of
God? When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in
marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.'"
Mark 12: 19-25
...Know that in heaven marriage will not exist as we understand it, "When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven." We cannot begin to imagine what it'll be like, but Jesus tells us what it won't be like. So don't let this be the 'be all and end all of your life' Jesus should be the biggest love of our lives, He's the only one who can give salvation!
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their
work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man
who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down
together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes
...Treat marriage as a partnership, a companion to spend this life with, someone to share things with, as put so beautifully in Ecclesiastes, a strand of you, your husband or wife and God is a strand not easily broken! Always remember no-body is perfect, people make mistakes. Don't place this person, as is often seen in numerous love songs today, the foremost in your life, the one person who can fulfil you. Only Jesus can do that!
"I tell you, on that night two people will be in one bed; one will be
taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding grain together;
one will be taken and the other left."
Luke 17: 34-35
We're told empirically that no-one will know when Jesus is to return, but the writer here paints a wonderful picture here, two people can be so close, but again salvation is only found in Jesus. One is taken but the other is left... a challenging thought.
"'Everything is permissible'--but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible'--but not everything is constructive." 1 Corinthians 10: 23
And finally, whoever you choose to spend your life with, remember, don't get carried away! Married or not, don't let ANYTHING take you away from God. Remember it was Jesus who died to take your sins. Don't let anyone else have the most love you can give. Do this and you can't go wrong!The opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those held by Cross Rhythms. Any expressed views were accurate at the time of publishing but may or may not reflect the views of the individuals concerned at a later date.
Volunteer Youth worker
St. Peter's Church
View all Life Files by Rachel Nixon