Original Prayer

We moved to a theological college from Plymouth when I was eight months pregnant, for my husband to train as a Minister. I have a history of depression for 20 yrs but had the baby fine. When baby was 6 days old, she contracted a lung infection. I recounted to the drs a dream whereby I'd dreamt baby was in a pillowcase and in real world I took my husband's pillow out of a pillowcase. Baby was safely asleep in moses basket. I was scared I was suffering with postnatal depression and was feeling very confused since childbirth. Drs called in SS, as they misunderstood me and felt I wanted to harm baby. We weren't allowed to leave the ward with our baby and I was transferred to a Mother and Baby unit with my baby. There I was supervised with the baby for 3 months, as the allegation had followed me there. I started suffering with really bad dissociation and at one point they said they were going to take away my baby, by mistake. I came out of hospital and had to be supervised by my husband and the Grandparents. I was not left alone with my baby until she was 6 months. She is now 9 months and although the nhs have cleared the allegation, SS continue to write vile reports about me. Our baby is on a Child Protection Plan due to the dissociation. We have parenting assessments starting soon and then they'll make a decision as to whether SS remain with us. I've had enough of trying to prove I'm a fit parent. I can't take any more of this. I'm tearful all the time and am terrified I'm going to lose my baby. A year ago I was rejected from training to be a Minister at the final hurdle and now I'm facing the biggest assault on my character yet. Where has God gone?

Submitted by Catherine on 13 Jul 2013

Responses

Father God you know Catherine and I pray that you will love and help her through these difficult times and please surround her with supportive people and help her to be a good mother.Please heal any post natal depression and anxiety and I pray that she will know she is looking after the baby for you as well, as children were yours before you gave them to us to take care of and protect. Bless her mightily Lord. In Jesus name, Amen

Submitted by mjepson on 20 Nov 2014

Father God I pray for Catherine (as I know what Post Natal Depression is and how distorted your thinking can become) I pray that you will help her to put this distressing time behind her and show her that you are always at her side and he will not let anything happen to her or the baby and I pray that she will will come out of the post natal depression soon. I pray for anyone who is in charge at Social Services that they will bless them and they will make right decisions in Catherine's case. I pray also for Catherine's husband that he will help her and love her through this difficult time. Let them both realise that you are always listening and help them to tell you about any difficulties they have. Show them both that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that light is you Lord Jesus and please surround them with your love. In Jesus Name, Amen

Submitted by Marjorie on 26 Sep 2013

Hi Catherine, Wish I had seen this sooner - I hope you will read this if checking back. Know that God is ALWAYS there - he never leaves us, even in our darkest hours. Hold onto hope and do not despair. I know it is easy for me to sit here and type this, but know that I too (amongst many others) have been through storms and cried out for God's attention. As difficult as it is - continue to give thanks for what you do have, tell Him that you know he is working to do good in your life - that you have faith that He will deliver on His promises to you. Then you will find peace Catherine, and in peace you will find progress. Please do not give up hope - but continue to believe in Him, because He BELIEVES IN YOU! Father in Heaven, I just lift Catherine to You Lord, understand her despair in dire circumstances, help her to find peace and lead her to permanent reunification with her daughter. I pray that Catherines husband and family as well as social services will be supportive in Catherines needs and make every effort to assist her in being the mother she longs to be, in Jesus name, Amen.

Submitted by snooky on 9 Sep 2013