Mal Fletcher

How can you keep your kids from falling in love with the celebrity ideal? If you're a parent, and especially if you have teenagers, you will have asked this question along the way.

A few years ago, a European survey of young adults asked, 'What would make you most happy in life?' The number one response was: 'I'd be truly happy if I could be famous.' When asked the follow-up question, 'famous for what?', the answer was usually, 'It doesn't matter... just famous for anything.'

The New Year has hardly dawned and already we're reminded about the 'dark side' of celebrity. Britney Spears, once the highest selling female artist on the planet, has lost the legal right to see her own children because of her desperate and perhaps despairing behaviour.

Sadly, this very talented but troubled young woman has been on a downward spiral for some time. Many people look on in sorrow and bewilderment, asking: "Doesn't anyone in her inner circle have what it takes to reach her and turn her around?"

Many parents will look at their own kids and wonder whether they're immune from this kind of behaviour, especially in an age when celebrities are major role models for the young.

My own kids are now adults and my wife and I are grateful that they've turned out well. But no matter how old or young your children are, they're still your children and you can't help but feel concerned from them and for the world they're inheriting.

If you're the parent of teenagers, you'll want your kids to learn something positive from the Spears situation, and others like it. What can we do to help our children avoid the traps associated with celebrity; the pitfalls for their self-esteem and their sense of perspective?

1. Celebrate the real heroes in your world.

The celebrity culture elevates notoriety over real achievement. Many celebs are well known simply for being well known. They have PR people who ensure that they're photographed at the right parties, with the right people, in the right places.

But our kids need heroes they can touch. They need for us to talk up exemplary people whom they can actually interact with. They need people within reach who are modelling wise decisions and selfless living.

There's no need to talk down the bad examples - that can make you look mean - just celebrate the good ones. Find people in your own circle and that of your children who are doing something noteworthy, and talk it up.

Sure, teenagers will still find some aspects of celebrity interesting - we all do - but they won't take the celebrity view as their main perspective on life.

2. Love your kids for who they are, not for what they can do.

I suppose we all want our kids to attract attention for excelling at something. But when that starts to happen, we need to send out the right signals.