Heather Bellamy talks to Tracy Williamson about her new book 'The Father's Kiss' and her journey of healing of father wounds.
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As I grew up I looked for a dad
With whom I could be me.
A dad who would relish me being his child
Who would cuddle me on his knee.
A dad who through being in my life
Would heal my fear of the unknown,
Would still my cries and hush my demands
With a love both spoken and shown.
I looked for a dad who would make me laugh
And see life through the eyes of hope.
A dad who would draw out the best in me
And help me to reach my full scope.
I looked for a dad who would be gently strong
And would lovingly guide my ways;
A dad whose touch would be nurture and life
As I walked through life's every phase.
I looked for a dad who with pure respect
Would see the woman I was created to be;
And through his gentle kiss of fatherly love
Would protect yet set me free.
This is what I hoped but like so many
The reality was rather stark.
For the father experiences I had, stole
My innocence and left a deep mark.
A father would help me realise my dreams
And discover the gifts deep within;
But my dreams were shattered with mocking words
And my gifts trampled then thrown in the bin.
But at that place where trust had died
I discovered a love tender and true;
It sought me out and would not let go
And a flame of hope kindled and grew.
This love flowed from my true Father's heart
Who chose me and called me by name;
He formed me in my mother's womb,
And danced with joy when I came.
He reached out to me with words of love
And his tenderness melted my heart;
He said he'd given his Son for me,
That we need never again, be apart.
I cried and I could not take his love,
So full of shame and anger and fear;
He listened and wept, as I shared things unsaid
And I never felt compassion so dear.
I suddenly knew that with all he'd been through
He truly had carried my pain;
His blood flowed for me, as he hung on that tree,
All my sin, my loss, my shame.
With tears I opened my heart to him
And I will never again be alone;
He heals my fears and stills my cries
With a love both spoken and shown.
I now have a dad who makes me laugh
And see life through the eyes of hope;
A dad who draws out the best in me,
And helps me to reach my full scope.
I now have a dad who is supremely strong
Who lovingly guides my ways;
A dad whose touch is nurture and life
Healing wounds from my earliest days.
I now have a dad who with pure respect
Sees the woman I was created to be
And through his affirming kiss of love
Opens the fullness of life to me.
Tracy Williamson 2014
Heather: What aspect of who He is as a Father has had the greatest impact on you?
Tracy: The aspect of His Father love that's had the greatest impact on me is that He speaks with words of love and affirmation. His words are true and life changing. For many years I was hearing that I was unlovable, mental, stupid, unwanted, useless, even perverted...hearing God's words that are so different to these negatives has been deeply transforming. For example, one day as a new Christian and still full of pain, I was walking to college from my hostel. The path went through a golf-course and was a lovely landscape, but usually I hardly saw it as I was too full of anxiety. But on this day I sensed a nudging inside to stop walking and just look at the view. God spoke to me encouraging me to see that the beauty of the landscape was a sign of His loving goodness. He then dropped a personal message into my heart, 'But none of this is as beautiful to me as you are!' That word of affirmation from Him was one of the first stepping stones on my healing journey.
Heather: For anyone reading this, who really isn't sure if they have father wounds or not, they may not even know what a father is for, what symptoms would you look out for, that would indicate a father wound?