In one of the most painfully truthful interviews ever given by a Christian music artist, one-time member of the NEWSBOYS John James spoke in depth to Mike Rimmer.
Continued from page 2
He continued, "We just hit the ground weeping and crying! And that was a catalyst that breathed life into dead bones. It's like something of a miracle happened that day. Something took place inside me. There was a transfiguration in my life that day, that the simplicity and the power and the relevance of God impacted me so dramatically that God gave me the strength to end it right there. The alcohol ended. Even though I was an alcoholic somehow it ended. The cocaine ended. No rehab. Supernaturally something happened in my life that day.
"Actually, what's crazy is that the minister went to the pastor's for lunch. They said, 'Do you know who that was?' And he goes, 'I don't have a clue.' And then they told him our story and he broke down and wept. And that night we met him again and he spent time with us just talking. What's funny is that about a month later the same thing happened again! It's like for the next several months every minister from overseas who came to our church singled us out. It was like God went out of his way continually to the point I know people in church were probably getting sick and tired, wondering why it was always us being singled out. It's like God went out of his way in spite of how we were feeling to say, 'Listen, you guys are so precious to me. Even amongst this hell you're going through, I'm right there with you. Even though you feel so devalued, like your life has no meaning or purpose let me say, I'm going to use you to do great things still. I want to use you.' That was so liberating for me!"
In the middle of the encouraging words from God, there was the serious business of a marriage that needed to be restored. John admitted that this was taking time. "I honestly wish I could sit here and say it happened overnight. But probably it was about two years. That first year was SO hard. SO HARD. Countless hours of counselling. We spent time with people that just loved us and mentored us. I had to learn all over again what it meant to be a husband. A good husband. I had to relearn what it meant to be romantic. I had to earn my wife's trust back again. I had broken her heart. I had to earn her trust. I had to give my wife a reason to fall in love with me all over again.
"I came to the realisation, either the Word of God is true or it isn't. Either it can change my life or it can't. If it can't then I'm wasting my time but if it can then I'm going to do everything that I can to allow it to change my life. Eventually our marriage was a relationship restored and since then we've had children. It doesn't mean I'm a perfect husband but I believe I'm a great husband. There was a renewing of my mind. The renewing of what it means to be a dad and a father and a husband. My entire value system changed."
It was nearly lunchtime and John and I were sitting in the hotel suite where my wife and I were enjoying a few sunny days on the beach. My wife was off being pampered in the hotel's health spa whilst John and I were catching up. Compared to the person he was when he was fronting the Newsboys, John is a different man here at home in Australia. He admitted that one day he'd have to move to Brisbane when the new church takes off but for then his family were enjoying the benefits of living on the Sunshine Coast. But what does he do now? "Well you know some days I ask myself that same question!" he laughed. "What am I actually doing with my life? My wife and I are very passionate. We tell our story. We're passionate about life. I'm passionate about my children. Passionate about my family. But when I do have the privilege to minister I work a lot with high school students. I LOVE going into high schools. Working with teenagers. I'll be one of those guys, if they still let me, that'll be 80 years old and still involved in youth ministry! I love working with young people. It's in my blood. I love doing conferences that deal with music because they think, 'Oh, John James from the Newsboys, let's get him!' But I come from such a different perspective."
He laughed, "I come from totally another angle because they want to hear about the how-to and the success. 'How do we write number one songs?' But I come from the other angle and talk about character, foundation, family, marriage, integrity. And it's almost like, 'What is that?! We want to hear about, how do you write number one songs? How do you write great music? How do you perform on stage?' So I do lots of schools." Continued James, "I do a lot of travelling to churches but at the moment the thing that's really inspiring me and David Evans is that we're looking to pioneer a church, pastor a church in 2007 in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. It is very bizarre for me because honestly that's one thing I said that I would NEVER do! It's amazing. It's like it seems not that long ago that my wife and I swore that we would never ever live in Australia and now here we are! But the concept of pastoring and being involved in pastoring and pioneering a church never appealed to me. Scary as it is for me I find myself getting excited and dreaming about it! Getting stirred in regards to doing something significant.
You know what? For me, I may never stand on a stadium stage again and be a part of influencing big crowds. But for me half the battle was coming to terms in my heart and in my mind that for the rest of my life, God may just want to use me in a corner of the world and that maybe I'll never have my name in lights or no-one might know the 'great exploits'. But if it means talking to a bunch of kids in a high school classroom - 20 kids? - so be it. If that's where God wants me I am prepared to say, 'Yes Lord I'll do it'. Or does John James still crave the excitement and the rush of the big arenas? Do I like the concept of that? Who wouldn't! But it's coming to terms: 'God, if you put me in that position one day again? Awesome! But if you don't, I am prepared to be obedient, happy and content.' I want to feel that I'm still running the race and at the end of it, it's still 'Well done good and faithful servant.'"
Driving me home from the church barbecue the previous Sunday, David Evans had confided in me that since his last concert with the Newsboys, John had not sung a single note in public and didn't want to. For someone who had enjoyed having the world at his feet while he sang his band's classics, this seemed like an odd state of affairs. Surely there were plenty of people who would offer John a solo contract. "I haven't sung in seven and a half years with the exception of a friend of mine, Andrew Ironside who asked me to cut one track on his album and I did it for him. That was really difficult. I've not sung since I've left the band and part of that is the healing journey I'm still on. The truth behind it is that the dynamic of my ability to sing was the team - the dynamic of the Newsboys. It was a band. It was Peter and I. It was the dynamic of a group of mates on stage. Myself? I'm not a soloist. I've never ever believed I really had a great voice. I believed I was a great entertainer. I had the ability to take people on a journey in that band environment. And also for me, probably that was one of the things that I was able to hold onto. Even though my career was over, for a long time it still gave me that sense of worth because people looked at me with awe and went, 'Wow! He's the lead singer of the Newsboys! Wow, will you sing?!' And I'd say, no I don't sing anymore. 'Oh pleeaase will you sing?!' But I was afraid that if I did sing and I didn't meet the expectations then the perception of: "WOW! Here's the lead singer of the Newsboys!" would be gone and people would say, 'Gee he's really not that good of a singer.'"
John James has been through a great deal. With the band he's scaled the heights of success and yet life in the band dropped him down to the depths of despair. Through rediscovering the unconditional love of God and the truth that God doesn't write any of us off, he's rediscovered the love of a long suffering life and now things are back on track, God has given him a fresh sense of purpose. For a while, he'll admit, it was a close call but it looks like his healing is nearly complete.
Back in Brisbane, my wife Pippa and I stayed a few days with David Evans and his wife. It didn't look like the final part of John's healing was far off. David confessed that he really wanted to see John sing again and John himself admitted, "I've put my hand up with David, with the pioneering of this new church, to be involved in the music in regards to worship and singing and song-leading. It's going to be so hard. You'd think after more than 15 years of being a frontman it comes so naturally but for me, to be honest, man that is probably going to be one of the most scariest things I've ever done in my life. That's part of the journey of my healing when I can get up there. It's not about how good I am. It's not about the crowd. But it's the fact that God wants to use me. Great singer or not. Big crowd or small. That God says, 'I want to sing through you. Open your mouth and sing for me.' That's going to be quite a moment for me that first day!"
If you or someone you know is struggling with an addiction, Gilead
Foundations could help. Tel: 01837 851240 You could also pray now
in the Cross Rhythms
Addictions Prayer Room.
Wow. I had no idea about his struggles! I last saw The Newsboys in about 1997 and to know he was battling these things tears at my heart. I'm so glad that John allowed God to turn his life around. His music has had a profound effect on my life. I believe he will sing again and that the experience will be sweet and beautiful because he's truly praising the Lord.